It's Christmas again. A time when we should slow down, quiet down, and focus primarily on family and loved ones. However, before we reach this state, many days full of stress, falling behind, and for some, worries about whether they can provide their children with everything they need and desire await us. This also applies to single-parent households, for whom it can be challenging to watch photos of perfect families in matching pajamas on social media, while they themselves are figuring out how to pay bills and buy presents.
According to the non-profit organization Jeden rodič (One Parent), there are almost 360,000 single-parent households in Slovakia, the majority of which are led by women. This means that behind thousands of children's smiles often stands a mother who handles tasks for two, with love, but also with fatigue and occasional uncertainty.
We spoke with one of them – Roberta Pizúrová, the mother of a six-year-old son, who candidly shared what Christmas looks like from the perspective of a single mother.
Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace, happiness, joy, and beautiful moments spent with loved ones. However, the pre-Christmas days are often the exact opposite. We strive for perfection, which brings a lot of stress into our lives. Single parents have it even harder because, in addition to the usual routine of life and household, they also have to deal with Christmas preparations more or less on their own. Do you feel that this period is really more challenging? What helps you get through it?
Yes, the pre-Christmas period is physically and emotionally challenging for me. In addition to regular duties, work, and household care, I try to create a beautiful and joyful Christmas for my son, which requires a lot of work and energy.
What helps me most is setting realistic expectations and reminding myself that the essence of Christmas is in shared moments, not in perfect results and performances.
I try to involve my son in the whole process, in all preparations – from cleaning, shopping, making decorations, cards, decorating the tree, windows, hanging lights, to baking and cooking. This way, even ordinary moments spent together are the most beautiful gift.
Has your perspective on Christmas changed since you had a son and became the breadwinner of the family? If so, in what way?
My view of Christmas is changing; I see it much more through responsibility than through idealized notions. It's no longer just about the atmosphere, gifts, and traditions. Since becoming a mother and the family's provider, I feel a lot of pressure and stress to manage everything on my own and "correctly."
What used to be co-created by the whole family now rests solely on me. I don't yet feel like I've fully grasped it – the desire for perfection often clashes with the longing for peace within me. I am learning to accept that not everything has to be ideal for Christmas to be beautiful. In this hectic time, I have to learn again to slow down and remind myself that the most important thing is how we feel together, not how it all looks on the outside.
Among other things, there is also the financial aspect. The absence of a second income is probably noticeable when buying gifts. How do you handle this? Do you try to save throughout the year, do you encourage your son to embrace minimalism, or do you also try DIY gifts?
It's challenging, especially because my son is now at an age when children compare themselves and talk about what and how much they received. I admit that it puts pressure on me to "keep up," but I consciously practice focusing on quality over quantity.
Every year, I fulfill at least one big dream for him – I buy him one larger gift that he truly desires. To that, I add a few other less expensive items that will make him happy and also make sense – whether practical items, educational toys, tools, or experiences.
As a single parent, I think ahead and responsibly with money, so I plan and save throughout the year so that Christmas isn't just about the stress of expenses. I teach my son that gifts are not about quantity or price, but about the joy and thought behind them. That it's not about him having "everything," but about him feeling that he is given gifts with love and attention.
OUR TIP: For single parents to be a constant support for their children, they primarily need good health and energy. Functional drinks full of vitamins, minerals, and beneficial substances or nutritional supplements in a pleasant and tasty form – in a bar – can help them with this. If you know someone with a similar fate, you might please them by giving such a piece of health, your attention, and your time. And that's even outside of the Christmas holidays.
Despite all the challenges that the role of a single mother brings, are you able to enjoy the Christmas holidays? What do you like most about them, even if they may not be "perfect"?
I can enjoy them, even if they are not always peaceful or "perfect." Despite all the challenges, this period holds great meaning for me. I most enjoy the moments when I see joy and happiness in children's eyes – the enthusiasm, the sparkle, and the genuine delight in small things. At the same time, I try very hard to create beautiful childhood memories for my son and build our small family traditions that he will be able to look back on one day. For me, Christmas is about these moments, about closeness, laughter, and being together, even if they are not outwardly perfect, they are real and ours.
"Even if our Christmas isn't perfect on the outside, it's real and ours."
You miss having a partner in parenting, but do you have someone from family or friends who helps you? What form of help do you appreciate the most?
Unfortunately, within the family, the help is very limited, mainly due to my mother's work demands and my father's distance and health condition. My parents don't have the time, space, or financial means to actively participate or help, so practical help from friends and acquaintances is incredibly valuable to me – for example, when someone looks after my son while I have to take care of something important, asks if we need anything from the store or pharmacy when we're sick at home, or drives us to a doctor's appointment in another city. Such concrete gestures make my life easier, but I appreciate every form of support – even the human, sincere kind, like understanding, which gives me the feeling that I'm not completely alone in this.
We thank Roberta for sharing her story, even during the hectic pre-Christmas season. It evoked in us a deep sense of gratitude for what we have. That Christmas truly doesn't have to be perfect, that there doesn't have to be a multitude of expensive gifts under the tree, or that social media isn't a competition for the most beautiful photo. Perhaps we just need to realize that these holidays are primarily about togetherness, attention, and help – especially for those who have it a little harder in life.
OUR FINAL TIP: If you don't have someone in a similar situation in your vicinity, but would still like to help, here are tips for three organizations that support families in difficult life situations:
- Jeden rodič (One Parent) – the only organization in Slovakia dedicated to direct aid for single parents.
- Dobrý anjel (Good Angel) – helps families (including single-parent families) with sick children.
- Úsmev ako dar (Smile as a Gift) – supports families in need so they can stay together.
